


to guard and protect, bless and forget

by pastelgay



Series: home is just another word for you [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 10:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13809633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelgay/pseuds/pastelgay
Summary: Law had no intention of eavesdropping. He'd never once had the desire to witness how deep the relationship between Luffy and Sabo ran, even after so many years. And yet, after a stomach full of childish booze-related challenges from the other pirates, he found himself accidentally discovering such regardless.





	to guard and protect, bless and forget

**Author's Note:**

> so. i've been reading and watching op since i was about 10/11, probably younger idr (i'm 22 now), but never really decided to post a fic until now. i mean i wrote this over a year and a half ago but never had the push to show it to others so!! guess i'm finally ready haha. anyway!!
> 
> also sorry if the summary is misleading, i still have yet to think of something better to describe this @@

Of all the friends on his ship and elsewhere, the one Luffy had always seemed closest with was someone who was rarely around. He wasn’t even a member of the crew, but in the two times Law had seen him (one in Dressrosa, the second on the Strawhat’s ship, just last night), Luffy had no qualms about immediately and quietly crawling into the man’s open arms.

Law supposed he shouldn’t be too confused (or inadvertently eavesdropping); it was, after all, his late brother who was apparently not so late after all.

Audience or not, they seemed to stick together at the hip like no years had been ripped away from the young, worn fingers of their childish selves. Law had chalked it up to Luffy being his overly affectionate self, clinging to Sabo like he never wanted to let go--let go in fear that he’d so easily vanish from his desperate grasp, just like Ace had.

Luffy had always been someone to need a more physical confirmation as proof. Law wondered if there was a reason for that. A reason for being so clingy and affectionate with people like any second would be their last.

But as Law wandered out of the Strawhat’s crew’s cabin--he had gotten drunk enough to pass out on another’s _ship_ , it seemed--he pondered if he should be feeling as jealous as he was becoming, the hot claws of unwarranted possessiveness scratching at his heart until it bled green.

It wouldn’t have even been entirely jealous in a romantic sense, like he was suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that the person he had eyes for only looked toward another. It was jealousy over the unfathomable _bond_ they had, something Law wondered if he’d ever be able to achieve with Luffy; someone who shone like the stars with someone who bled darkness through every crack in his battered, ravaged soul.

But apparently, if Luffy loved you enough, he’d hold you like you were everything that meant anything to him, even if you hadn’t been quite officially reunited since you were maybe eight years old. At least eleven years, he and his brother had spent apart.

Law was unsure if he could even compete with something that genuine, that significant. He’d lost people special to him before, for pushing away the urge to be close and honest with them. Cora as a parental figure, and possibly Luffy as…

He couldn’t stop staring at the source of his whirling thoughts, wrapped closer to someone than he himself could ever remember being with another person.

(Though, growing up the way he did, he decided that the reference to his past relationships wasn’t a very good comparison at all.)

He noticed Luffy’s position first, of course he did; he eyes were instinctively drawn to him before anyone and anything else, like his small disposition commanded his unwavering attention.

Luffy looked unflinchingly trusting of Sabo, of his hands that could easily shatter skulls perched against his sides, arms curled fast around his back. Luffy's eyes looked peacefully blank, completely relaxed with his own arms dangling lazily over Sabo’s shoulders. His legs, however, were fastened around his hips despite retaining balance from being seated on the edge of the ship. His calves spoke of power and steel from the way they clung, refusing loss and surrender.

A relieved, tired smile was was settled over his lips.

Despite the fearsome hold from his legs, the rest of Luffy still seemed limp, like anything more would somehow shatter his older brother. Luffy looked peacefully elated because Sabo was there, firm, solid, alive, _mourning, guilty, so_ so _relieved to have his last brother in his arms, Luffy would have done anything and everything to have gotten to him sooner if he’d only_ known _\--_

Sabo’s grip around Luffy was, however, much firmer and much more grounding, like he needed continuous confirmation that Luffy was there, in front of him. Silently, Law wondered how Luffy could trust someone with hands like talons that could crush stone like crumpling newspaper, trust those fingers curled hard, desperately around his hips, wondered if he’d leave bruises and if Luffy would have even _cared_ \--

For the way he held Luffy in his arms, against him, it only made sense that his posture was just as anguished as it looked. After all, having one brother snatched and killed right under his nose and remembering their bond too late to save him...

A past as fragmented and sad as that would have whittled his own hands down into something just as desperate. Hands that clung with the strength of a monster accompanied by a heart that spoke of far too much pain and loss.

He must have hated being away from Luffy so long, needed constant reassurance that he was there _\--warm, safe,_ alive _, not forgotten, as real as his newfound memories insisted he was--_

But Sabo hadn’t even been here, on either of their ships, for the entire night--for the past six months or so, on top of that. That meant he must have just come after everyone had fallen asleep. Or just after Law had fallen asleep, perhaps.

Law was about to leave them be with a longing heart, believing it too private of a moment for a set of eyes other than theirs to see.

He heard a shaky inhale of breath, and his eyes darted back to Luffy as he slumped forward, head pressed against Sabo’s chest. Sabo’s arms unwound so he could wrap them around his shoulders, gently pressing a hand against the back of his head.

His body began shuddering, breathing becoming erratic and harsh. Sabo hushed him in a quiet voice, tucking Luffy’s head firmly under his chin when Luffy’s hands curled against Sabo’s back. He looked so much smaller, as vulnerable as he had recovering from surgery, after the horrible death of--

“...Ace…”

Law jerked, Luffy’s broken voice cracking around his late brother’s name. Sabo held him closer and rubbed comforting circles along his shaking back while he began to cry.

With a loss like that, even Luffy hadn’t recovered, years later. He probably never would. Law still woke up from nightmares of Cora dying, still heard the gunshot and thud of a dying body against his hiding spot. In his dreams, he could actually hear the agonized sobs tearing from his chest as he stumbled in the cold--Cora couldn’t silence his own mind, after all.

Law knew he had intruded for far too long, and resigned himself back to his temporary bed on this ship. He couldn’t quite walk past to his own without being noticed, and an intimate moment like that wasn’t something he felt inclined to disrupt.

“But I still have you,” he heard Sabo murmur soothingly as he quietly left the scene. “And you still have me…”

Law had missed a decent amount of their heartfelt conversation, and it might have been vital to explain why the air in the atmosphere suddenly changed. Haki pressed all around him, dense and dark and _terrifying_ , and maybe Law’s mind had been overridden by adrenaline, coiled in preparation to fight or flee, but he could have _sworn_ the ship rattled with that raging, unchained power. Haki could be disgustingly palpable, and Law knew that the last time he’d felt this type of instinctual fear was with Doflamingo.

Sabo’s voice rang out then, matching the vicious bite of the heavy air with the unbidden power behind his words:

“I would have seen them all personally burned to the ground if they’d taken both of my brothers away from me.”

Law didn’t manage to catch his breath until he was tucked back onto the floor, feeling the cold aftermath of his adrenaline rush but wanting his blanket as far away from him as possible. Luffy truly didn’t realize how much his brothers would have done for him, how they could purr like sated cats but snap their teeth like vicious, rabid guard dogs when he was threatened.

He had no doubt Luffy would do the same for them, for just Sabo, now, and _J_ _esus_ Corazon really was ahead of his time about the D. line; only an idiot would anger someone with enough strength and fury to be called one of god’s sworn enemies.

 

Law was known to have issues sleeping for more than a few hours at a time, so it wasn’t a surprise to find his tired eyes peeling open only three hours later. After an hour spent trying to fall back to dreamless sleep, he surrendered and forced his exhausted body upward.

He remembered the other night, and, through the haze of his thoughts, wondered if Sabo had stayed until morning.

The deck was empty when Law meandered over. Maybe he had truly left, probably needing to get back to work of overthrowing the world government and all. The thought immediately following that was:

_Was Luffy okay?_

He strode a bit faster over to the captain’s quarters, trying not to think about the rolling cloud of anxiety inflating in his chest. Law wasn’t allowed to care about another person this way, he shouldn’t, _couldn’t,_ he couldn’t do this again--

His mind decided he was being a blatantly infatuated idiot but his heart kept his body moving, long, bony fingers reaching forward to tap against the door. ‘Death’ looked back at him from his ink stained knuckles, and he was swiftly reminded of Luffy crying against his last brother while mourning the other.

“Strawhat-ya,” he called quietly, hopefully enough that if he were sleeping he would not waken.

He supposed he was being impatient, intrusive, but his emotions spilled out of the haphazard cracks in his heart and forced his limbs to keep moving, pausing after easing the door open a few inches. Law’s heart spasmed in his chest.

A strip of light lay over Luffy’s bed, curling over the small expanse of his shoulder uncovered by his shirt, skin tan and clear and beautiful against the sun. He didn’t know why he expected anything different than him leaning his face into a pile of his own drool on his pillow, body curled on one side. He wanted to ignore his swollen eyes and dry, tear-stained cheeks.

Law only realized that Luffy wasn’t alone when Sabo’s gloved hand appeared out of seemingly nowhere, reaching toward the bed. He leaned forward to brush Luffy’s hair away from his face, his touch barely there. His brother was neatly seated on a chair right next to Luffy’s bed, like it shouldn’t have been a surprise to suddenly sense his presence.

“It’s time for me to go,” Sabo whispered, slowly pulling his hand back. Law wasn’t sure if that was meant for him, but then Sabo turned very clearly to look at Law by the door.

Law swallowed, feeling uneasy over the intense gaze Sabo had settled on him. His brain reminded him that he was someone dangerous, that his Haki had almost brought him to his knees, and the memory forced another bout of adrenaline through his veins. Law made his breathing even out, made himself to stay calm.

“I apologize for earlier, Trafalgar Law.”

Law furrowed his brows in confusion. “I beg your pardon?”

Sabo gave a small smile and finally looked away, eyes drawn back to the bed. “I didn’t mean to lose control like that, over my Haki. I just get--” he paused to lift his hand out of his lap, slowly clenching his long fingers into a fist, “--very protective sometimes.”

He was easing Haki out of his pores even now, enough to have Luffy furrow his brows distastefully in his sleep and turn away from his brother. It made Law kind of uncomfortable to see Sabo pout at the action.

Law thought through his words. “...I believe I should be the one to apologize,” he responded, face firm as stone as Sabo looked back at him. “I hadn’t intended to eavesdrop on your… moment.”

Sabo gave a low chuckle, shifting back further into his seat. His posture was impeccable, back straight and shoulders broad, and Law was curious as to where he learned to sit like he was from royalty.

“You were worried about him, I understand. The more people looking out for him, the better,” Sabo responded easily enough, eyes dark and faraway. “Not that he can't handle himself but--I need to be sure he’s safe, for peace of mind.

“My baby brother is real strong, but,” he glanced down at said brother’s slumbering form, smiling sadly, “I want him to heal. And I worry that he won’t--”

“His brother died in his arms,” Law interjected harshly, not mincing his words. He supposed he could’ve said it nicer, but he also didn’t like that Sabo didn’t have enough faith in his own brother to believe he would _overcome this_. “Not even years may be able to change the effect that had on him.

“He doesn’t need to be fixed, he needs to beat his nightmares and come through stronger in the end. That’s what he’s always done and that’s what he’ll do again. This time is no different.”

Sabo stared, intense and long enough for an apology to build in Law’s throat. “I… apologize. That may have been a bit harsh.”

Sabo tilted his head to the side, looking Law up and down before looking back at his brother. “...You have an awful lot of faith in a captain that isn’t even your own.”

Law opened his mouth to defend--himself? Luffy?--but temporarily halted at the wide grin stretching across Sabo’s lips.

“You really care about him, don’t you?”

Law froze, wrangling his thoughts in before they traveled in the direction his heart was nudging, because he didn’t think he was quite ready to tell the second-in-command of the Revolutionary Army that he was enraptured by his little brother.

“I’ve saved his life and he’s saved mine,” he tried. It was worth a shot. “There’s a certain type of respect that comes with that.”

Sabo wasn’t in the least bit deterred. “So you care about him.”

Law frowned, eyebrows wrinkling together. Would he not allow it to be dropped? “I… suppose…” Law continued slowly, watching the man gracefully rise from his seat and begin a slow trek toward Law, like a cat toward a mouse. “Is that--?”

At six-foot-three, he didn’t think he should be intimidated by a man two inches shorter than him. “I never thought someone would defend Luffy before I could, or defend Luffy _from_ me!” His voice was bubbly, teeth flashing white in a wide smile as he clapped a hand on Law’s shoulder.

Then his fingers curled, not to crush, but to bring attention and firmly warn. Law willed himself not to cringe as the pressure increased and his shoulder flared in pain.

“I don’t mean to imply I think Luffy won’t beat this.” His fingers sunk sharply into the flesh around the socket of his shoulder, thumb denting his skin. “The Future Pirate King will win this battle in him. I meant that I worry that he won’t get the chance to finish mourning and let go. Please don’t misunderstand me.”

Bruises were definitely going to pattern his skin in small crescents and circles later, but he held himself still in Sabo’s fearsome grip. “So make sure he does just that, alright?”

Law tried to follow his train of thought, but could only look down at the brother in confusion.

His eyes were fierce and bright, sharp and serious. “I’m entrusting him to you, so take good care of my little brother.”

Law narrowed his eyes. “I won’t be his _nurse--_ ”

“You have my blessing, Trafalgar Law. I doubt Luffy could get one from his dad, anyways, so I give you mine instead!” He pulled away from Law, who couldn’t hide a small wince. Sabo’s grin was harsh but satisfied. “Don’t make me regret giving you it.”

And then he was gone after pressing his lips softly to Luffy’s forehead, leaving Law a lot of time to think about what exactly all of that meant.

 

Law was used to night terrors. He was used to sleeping too much or not enough, used to resting anywhere from three hours to fourteen. He was used to waking up and feeling unrested, memories of his past singed into his mind until they bled terrifying silhouettes into his eyelids, and every time he blinked he saw the bodies of people he was too pathetic to save. It was painful every time, but he was used to it.

Luffy was not.

Luffy was an anomaly. To himself, Law referred to Luffy as sunshine incarnate, happiness incarnate, joy-love-temper-self-sacrifice-friendliness-adamancy incarnate, everything good and worth fighting for. He decided, while some if it was possibly due to being enraptured to the point of being blinded, that Luffy embodied a lot of what the world needed.

It needed a hero, someone who saw people in trouble, full of fear, and stepped in without a second thought, someone who smiled amid his execution, someone who knocked down royalty because of their cruelty, someone so utterly compassionate but also so selfish and stubborn and loud and giving--

Law considered that he was too biased to be giving factual adjectives to Luffy’s name, and was inclined to agree with himself. He had been around Luffy too long to be considered a neutral party anymore.

 

Law woke up to Luffy screaming.

As his current doctor--psychologist?--he knew how to immediately jump into his role. The hardest part was getting his crew to remain _outside_ the door, especially Zoro who had been there in less than the blink of an eye, somehow, immediately after the first scream had ripped through his captain's lungs.

“I’m coming in the second I decide it’s necessary,” Zoro said smoothly, eyes hard and fierce and strong--protective. _Worried_. “I’ll kill you if you try and stop me.”

Law somehow wasn’t offended at the death threat, already knowing firsthand how deep the bond was between the two--the whole crew, actually.

He nodded, and Zoro glared before trekking outside the room. Law saw him slide to sit in front of the door, guarding it, and nearly smiled. It never ceased to blow his mind just how loyal the Strawhats were to their captain, and each other.

Law knew that doctors didn’t generally hold their patients through a night terror, didn’t cradle them against their chest until their screams broke off into quiet stuttering sobs. He knew that they distantly assessed a situation, decided the most effective course of action, and moved on.

But Law held Luffy tight in his arms until the sun rose, his black hair soft as it sifted between his long fingers. He murmured reassuring condolences, responses that would hopefully alter his dipping mood.

“It wasn’t real, Strawhat-ya,” he consoled, voice soft but gravelly as it had always been. He ran his fingers through Luffy’s hair, watching his red, sweaty face and pinched features. “It was a dream. I need you to focus right now.”

Luffy trembled in his arms, face creased in pain.

Law narrowed his eyes, knowing he needed to be stern. “Focus on me. Focus on _me_.”

Luffy managed to respond to that. “Law,” he breathed, eyes unfocused--but he was speaking. He was speaking instead of struggling to breathe.

“Yes. I’m here,” he responded, slipping into analyzing Luffy as a patient, one with what was very likely PTSD and morphed flashbacks of horrific memories. “You are too. Do you know where you are?”

“Law,” he repeated, hands reaching out to cup his face. He brought him forward, leaning his forehead against Law’s own. “Law,” he said again, closing his eyes peacefully and tilting his face just slightly so that their noses knocked together.

Law swallowed. “Strawhat-ya--”

_“Law.”_

Law wondered if his presence and name alone managed to ground Luffy, because all it took was seeing, hearing, and touching him for Luffy to gain a sense of calm. His breathing evened out, his trembling had mostly ceased, his eyes hadn’t been as wild and unseeing like when he had initially woken up.

Law knew sleep terrors all too well, and the potential parasomnia that came with it was difficult to handle. Especially without drawing attention from the rest of the crew.

Though, considering that nearly every time their crews crossed paths, Law would end up sleeping in the captain’s chambers, with the captain. He didn’t know how to explain that Luffy insisted on it, because Law helped him sleep without as many nightmares. Law wasn’t going to admit that Luffy helped with his, too.

Currently, unsure of what to say, he softly placed his palms over Luffy’s wrists, curling around them slowly. Luffy's hands were so warm and pleasant against his face. Law had touched him with the decision that he should peel Luffy away from him, but now he didn’t--he didn’t _want_ to.

“Stay,” Luffy said. And that was all it took.

**Author's Note:**

> tbh?? all this shiet i post here?? at least 90%+ of it is when i'm drunk off my ass so i apologize for missed inconsistencies, promise ill come back to edit but!! for now i hope u enjoy!!!!!  
> also i have 2 other parts written out but i'm still editing so i hope y'all are ready for the next ones omg  
> on a side note, if u are a young'n and don't feel comfortable reading this bc im 22 pls don't!! do whatever makes you happy!!


End file.
